Books & Papers

When we want to understand something thouroughly, it's best to go straight to the source. 

The Power of Attachment:
How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships

How can this help couples?

By Diane Poole Heller

In this book Dr. Poole Heller not only explains what attachment is and the role it plays in our relationships, she gives concrete exercises that can help people become more secure in their attachment and improve their relationships.

How can this help therapists and coaches?

Many therapists use The Power of Attachment to augment the work happening in therapy, as an educational resource, and for inspiration about attachment-focused activities to do with clients.

Details

Dr. Poole Heller is an expert in attachment theory and trauma resolution. She runs the Dynamic Attachment Re-Patterning Experience workshops, specifically for those who want to change their attachment style. This book is 224 pages and was published in 2019.

The Four Agreements

How can this help couples?

 Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements helps couples see the connection between some fundamental personal choices and attitudes and many of the struggles people tend to have in relationships. If each partner works on practicing one or all of the agreements, the relationship dynamic will change.

How can this help therapists and coaches?

The Four Agreements is a useful way to add personal choices and integrity to the mix of personal and couple goals. Sometimes it is difficult for clients to see how their own attitudes and actions can shift relationship dynamics (as opposed to asking their partner to change). In addition, focusing on basic skills like honesty lays a foundation for other relationship work.

Details

Based on the wisdom and spiritual beliefs of the Toltec people, The Four Agreements is intended to facilitate personal transformation. The idea is to discard “agreements” which are causing suffering and replace them with those that bring happiness. This is an easy read, and the author does not focus on research or references.